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Post by Friendly on Apr 2, 2009 14:36:46 GMT 1
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RedEyez
3 star frontline soldier
Posts: 77
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Post by RedEyez on Apr 18, 2009 17:05:31 GMT 1
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Post by MPTI on Apr 22, 2009 23:32:10 GMT 1
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Post by FarHigh on Apr 27, 2009 11:08:10 GMT 1
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Post by Eagle i on May 9, 2009 15:57:05 GMT 1
Breed Har Again
A 17 year-old Jamaican girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for the last two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the pharmacy and buys a pregnancy test.
Confirming her worst fears, the test result is positive. Shouting, swearing and crying, the Mother says, "Which rass man do dis to you? Mi need fi know now!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a BMW X5 pulls up in front of their house; a dapper looking man dressed in an Armani suit steps out and walks to the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, the mother, & the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs & provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.
Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account. He continues: "If a boy is born, my legacy will be a factory and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
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Post by Eagle i on May 9, 2009 15:57:41 GMT 1
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and very decisively tells him, "You can breed har again ..."
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Post by Friendly on May 22, 2009 3:33:17 GMT 1
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Post by Friendly on May 22, 2009 3:38:39 GMT 1
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Post by jah_uppsala on May 31, 2009 10:31:01 GMT 1
HAHA al die mopjes , hier ne foute
Vader zit met dochtertje van 4 int bad wat met de eendjes te spelen, plots vraagt t dochtertje papa krijg ik er later ook zo ene?, en wijst richting papa's toy waarom papa zegt
als ge braaf zijt en niets tegen mama verteld krijgt ge m nu al
ahahahah foute boel
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Post by jah_uppsala on May 31, 2009 10:34:32 GMT 1
waarop* papa zegt
sry
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Post by Friendly on Aug 6, 2009 19:15:56 GMT 1
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Post by Mikey Ché on Sept 5, 2009 13:38:50 GMT 1
Rules regarding men
Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.
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